How to find a special connection with the Pentagon while staying in the friendship zone
Somewhere deep in the bowels of the Pentagon – probably near the Fighter Pilot Bar – there is likely a black-and-white picture of the building being dedicated in January 1943 that includes your friend and humble narrator in the background being scowled at by Army Col. Leslie Groves.
Even though your spry correspondent was technically born decades later, if you work at the Pentagon long enough, you develop a special relationship with the building, much like Jack Nicholson’s character in “The Shining.”
Thus, yours truly has always been here. In the 23rd Century – about the time that most of the problems on the aircraft carrier USS Gerald Ford are slated to be fixed – this reporter will still be at the Pentagon, asking some future defense official why the U.S. military has spent $100 trillion on a project to warp time and space into the shape of an intergalactic penis. (Because of China and Russia, of course.)
To cover the Pentagon, one must make it the center of one’s universe. The building must become your wife, your mother, your lover, and your child. Because if you do not come to the Pentagon every single day, you don’t exist in the eyes of those who work here.
The only way to know what is actually happening in the Pentagon on any given day is to come here and talk to people in person. Information is a precious commodity, and it is doled out sparingly. Most of your friendly correspondent’s days are filled with conversations that go along the lines of: Did you hear about this? No, but did you hear about this?
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