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How to declutter the Pentagon, according to lifestyle guru and killing machine Marine Kondo

The U.S. Marine Corps is one of the foremost fighting forces on the planet that’s been beating America’s enemies into submission since 1775. Marie Kondo is a Japanese organizing consultant and beloved lifestyle guru who’s been inspiring civilians to throw out all their old crap since December.

Together, they are Marine Kondo, the most senior NCO attached to the Section 809 Panel, and only force mighty enough to tame the unruly kudzu of bureaucracy and red tape that is the Pentagon acquisition process.

Below, Marine Kondo outlines the principles that should guide Pentagon planners as they work to streamline how the military procures its weapons or war.


I am Marine Kondo, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be “ma’am.” Do you maggots understand that?

Now, I am here to mold you into the people who can fix the godawful mess that is the Pentagon acquisition process, and it will not be easy. The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life. Until you can answer that question, you are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit.

Luckily for you, my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved task force. Know this: the space in which we operate should be for the military we are becoming now, not for the military we were in the past. Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more …read more

Read more here:: Task & Purpose

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